#10 Avatars of Vishnu: HINDUS 4 OBAMA

What's the essence of comedytiming. And we're only 5 months and 10 days late on this jam celebrating the inauguration of President Barack Obama. But July 4th is right around the corner and while many of you are getting fresh master cuts for Maharashtrian Convention in Cherry Hill, NJ it's easy to lose sight of the fact that Independence day isn't only about cultural shows and freeze tag in hotel lobbies, it's also about a celebration of these gods blessed (we see ya, Jeremiah Wright) United States.

In honor of our two favorite things in the world, South Asian American Conventions and Amrika, we drop this original track only 1/8 of a term after our Presidency went black. 'Cause you see, we went to Inauguration back in January, wept with the masses and froze our ladoos off in the minus integer windchill. We stood there for hours and wondered if it would be worth it. But then Prez Baracknrolla strolled up, knocked some cadence out of the park, reached out to the Muslim world, and even included Hindus in his faith check portion of the speech.

In our feeble understanding of American History, that's the first time a President shouted out Hindus from the Inaugural pulpit - not including any time Teddy Roosevelt referred to Caribbean Coolies as Hindoooooooooos. We thought the moment deserved commemoration and five months later, after trying to actually record it with like a microphone and what not, decided just to drop the raw version we recorded in our bedroom on an iMac back in Feb.

So feel that autotune wash over you and feel proud to be an Amrikan, cause at least you know you're free. And as all Indians the world over know, ain't nothing better than free.

#+1: Getting Uneven Steven on your Wedding Gift

It's wedding season, 'caque Knoblauchs. brotate around that fire five times, hide your brother in law's shoes and watch sweaty dudes storm the DJ decks requesting soca hits of the '80s, '90s and today.

Cut Indians loose in the wedding hall and it's like unhooking the baby bjorn and letting your diabetic beta run wild in the jalebe shop.

Because Indians (okay, Gujus, can we stop pretending?) are infamous for their one up-manship, a so so necessary aspect of the indian wedding richa-ual is the round up on the financial gift. Normally Indians round down on EVERYTHING including their age, the mortgage on their condo, their penis size and the previously agreed upon terms for the hotel caterer.

But oh yo not so when it comes to the CHEQUE, cause, uc, if there's one thing Indians prefer to being miserly, it's doing plus one better than Nandini in the gift department. So what if her daughter went to Stanford undergrad, Northwestern medical school and is engaged to a white podiatrist in Winnetka? She only gave one hundred and fifty dollars. You're gonna give one hundred and fifty plus ONE.

Sure, some might say it's auspicious to leave off the extra zero but can we finally, for once, please, pretty please get picked to live in a house, stop being polite and start getting real? The only thing auspicious about getting Uneven Steven on your wedding gift is watching Ritu uncle's face turn red when he finds out you One-Upped him and then wondering if he's actually angry or just drunk...again.

So here's to you Indians. You won't turn the AC on in the summer; you sneak outside snacks into the theater (yeah, i heard you open that can of Diet Slice during Taare Zameen Par, AUNTIE) and you bought little Deepaum VOITS instead of Reeboks, but all that's cumin on a cutlet when you make it drizzle on the lucky couple with your $101 dollar check. Eat it up, Nandini. You just got 1-upped.

SILDC PRESENTS: The Kominas - Sunni Side Up

#1 most popular VC2 on Current for the day. Get us over the hump, caques! Stuck between smart pill and Japanese dubbed Star Wars – story of our lives. Yeah the video probably sucks – wah, wah – just vote UP on it and make it worth our time. Please? No? Whatever. Your teeth are yellow.

#Web2.0: Being Featured on...

SILDC's on the Huffington Post comedy home page. Right under Stephen Colbert, David Letterman and humor icon Glenn Beck. Okay, not right under, but you know, toward the top of the bottom. Beetleteedub, that's also how Subhash likes to get down on the memory foam. Psssoych!

Check out the Huffington Post article.

Also at AOL's WalletPop Personal Finance site.

Also at Treehugger.com

And here, at Politics Daily.

#H1N1: Bird Flu, Swine Flu, ToFLU?

Another SILDC original production. Check it out and rate it if you can. Some dick bag gave it like one star and totally dragged our average down. Jai ho, bitches.

#32W33L: SKINNY GENES

We know we've been missing like the pen cap on your bic for a moment, but put your mind at ease knowing we've been doing other things with your Indian loving interests at heart. We've been applying to business schools; we've been getting admitted to business schools; we've been not telling our friends about getting into business school so they'd have to hear it from their parents in that sweet, patronizing tone.

Mom: So what are you doing?
Son: Nothing, mom. Just blogging.
Mom: Blogging. Very nice.

(silence)

Mom: Hrithik got into Harvard MBA and Vicky's brother-in-law works for Obama!

In our absence, though, we did find a way to parlay those web video tricks we learned on "Call Center" into a li'l video deal with Details Magazine. SILDC FLIMS PRESENTS the first installment of a musical web series chronicling the panoply of male insecurities, or for the wordplay inclined, HeMotions.

What's the connection to Indians, you ask? Sheeeuuut. Walk in into ANY Armani EXchange and see for yourself, macaquetuses. Desi, out.

#Big Money: SILDC intern on Wheel Of Fortune

So, the SILDC intern wrote some stuff a while ago (Interns Appear Snarkier in Real Life). Even though she's more used to spinning the 10 inch rims on her Maruti, she'll be on The Wheel tonight, going for that V-white Money. Tune in (CHECK YOUR LOCAL LISTINGS) and watch her clean up or lose it all. I have no idea. She won't say anything.