#71: Ruining Classics With Remixes

In a music industry that has seemingly misplaced its creativity, the offerings of choice these days seem to be souped-up rehashes of classic Bollywood songs from the 50s and 60s.

There really is no new frontier explored. The formula is as follows (I guess I like lists):

1. The exact same lyrics are taken from the old version, but are sung "sexier." For good measure, the pronunciation of the words may be Anglicized (because that's cool now among the Mumbai city-folk).

2. Throw in a Dhamaka-inducing beat, and simultaneously obliterate the mood that the original song's producer sought to create. For example, if the original song was about a dispirited woman's musings, a remixed version of it would totally be appropriate to grind to (or so I hear).

3. Add a slight dash of an unskilled rapper, tossing out English catch-phrases, like: "Stay cool, bro," or "I want you babayyy," or the befuddling "Chori Chori here's my story." The mismatch is akin to putting jelly on your cheeseburger. Or maybe Robitussin on your cheeseburger, since the catch-phrases suck to begin with.

4. For the video, employ the services of a scantily-clad dancer, who will seductively lip-synch the slightly-sexier singing. Again, it doesn't matter what the original evocative intention of the song was - the goal now is to strive for "cool".

Follow these steps, and you too can become a remix-Moghul.

See here for a perfect template:

Original:



(Aww! Innocent courtship!)

Remix:



(The sound you hear in the background is the original producer spinning in his grave.)