#71: Being That Guy

You know who "that guy" is. That Guy is the guy that points out the typos in your email. That guy is the one who takes off his shirt in social situations. That guy is the guy that calls phantom fouls during a pick-up game of basketball.

Perhaps more so than any other ethnic group Indians like to be That Guy. On average, the That Guy Percentage (TGP) of any population, say white Americans, is at 10 %. For Indians, however, the TGP reaches at least 25%. That means next time you are in a group of at least 4 Indian people one of you is most likely That Guy. If you can't pinpoint him, I'm sorry to say it's you.

Here's a quick test to check if you are in fact That Guy:

Immediately following the countdown to midnight on December 31, 1999 you:
A) Kissed and embraced a love one
B) Called a family member to wish them Happy New Year
C) Poured yourself another glass of whiskey and coke
D) Lectured everyone around you that the true millennium wasn't actually until 2001 since there was no year 0

When playing flag football with friends and someone is minorly injured with a jammed finger you:
A) Stop play and go to get help
B) Continue to play and encourage your friend to first north side walk it out, then south side walk it out.
C) Do nothing since the only sports you play are tennis and debate
E) Rip your shirt sleeve to form a brace and use your 6 months of first year medical school training to stabilize the neck and bark orders for saline solution.

To keep yourself entertained in the waiting room of a doctor's office you:
A) Read through whatever periodical is near you
B) Should probably see a patient since you're Indian and most likely the doctor
C) Strike up conversation with the person to your left
D) Go through your cell phone's entire library of ring tones at maximum volume

When prompted for a senior quote for your high school yearbook you:
A) Instinctively pick your favorite lyric from a Dave Matthews Band song
B) Decline since you spent most of senior year taking advanced calculus at the community college down the street
C) Thank all your friends, family, teachers and coaches
D) Google Gandhi quotes online and settle on something about being the change you want to see in the world

When out to a group dinner at Cheesecake Factory and the bill arrives you:
A) Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom
B) Offer to pay for everything on your parents' Master Card
C) Patiently wait until you are told how much to contribute and dutifully chip in
D) Excuse yourself to go the bathroom and when you return explain that you didn't have any of the calamari appetizers and only ate half your turkey burger entree but since you just evacuated most of it in the restroom you shouldn't really have to pay anything at all.

If you selected D in response to any of the questions above, congratulations, you are That Guy for your group of friends. Raise the roof in celebration of your achievement because if you're That Guy, you probably do that a lot, too.