Friday, March 7, 2008

#62: Fighting at Indian Parties

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes, and fighting when young Indians get together at an Indian-majority party (sporting the ubiquitous party-top/patterned shirt). It seems rather strange, given that the previous generation of Indians preferred to resolve their conflicts through gossip (airing other kids' inferior SAT scores, Yasmin's movie, etc.) and/or exclusion. In contrast, this generation's conflict-resolution preferences are far more aggressive. Furthermore, these fights only occur at large Indian gatherings, and never at ethnically-diverse parties where a subgroup of Indians happen to be.

So how do such conflicts start? This would best be illustrated through a completely fictional example.

Let's take a fictional guy. Ameet*. Let's say he's from, oh, Gujarat, and grew up in, let's say, Schaumburg, IL. Ameet ends up at a Big Ten school, where he meets a girl he likes: Anjali. Anjali likes him at first, but ultimately drops him into the dreaded friendzone. Naturally, Ameet is crushed.

Ameet then does some soul-searching to possibly figure out why the object of his affection does not reciprocate his feelings. He erroneously concludes that his diminuitive stature must be the reason. Ameet's bitterness envelops him, and he spirals into a full-fledged Napoleon Complex.

Now, since he has to settle with being friends with Anjali, he decides that if he can't have her romantically, no one can. So at the next party (which inexplicably takes place in a barn), when prospective suitors come her way, he'll push them away, talking about, "No, she's like my sister, dogg; you can't dance with her." Sometimes, they'll ignore him and continue to woo Anjali. This enrages Ameet. He then proceeds to round up his friends of similar maturity and hairstyle (perhaps they too have had the same experience with Anjali) and attack the suitor. This occurs a few more times at future parties and with other prospective suitors.

The fights don't last long, but the damage is done. Anjali no longer likes Ameet, but stays friends with him out of guilt. Ameet has fully descended into the Dark Side, and is now primarily known campus-wide (perhaps Big Ten-wide) as Petite Ameet - the guy with the Napoleon Complex that always starts fights at parties with his "Desi Champ" friends. A crying shame.

And so every Indian Party has a Petite Ameet-type tragic hero. Their reasons for rousing rabble are resultant of varying insecurities, but the results are the same: unnecessary fights, generally over women they cannot have, but feel compelled to "protect". It is simply a sad state of affairs.

Beware of Petite Ameets.

*The characters and events depicted in this story are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Except the pictures - they're real dudes.


Mahotma in Herre said...

But he goes by 'Meet, right? And is edged up with a #2?

blahdude said...

So true! So true! So many memories of desi's fighting on another. Possibly because we don't have the balls to fight men of other ethnic backgrounds (smaller build, no ethnic image to maintain, etc.). It's why I stopped dating desi chicks. Love them, but don't love the territory they comes with.

adham said...

افضل شركة تنظيف خزانات ومنازل وشقق بالمدينة المنورة شركة غسيل خزانات ومكافحة حشرات بالمدينة المنورة ونقل عفش بالمدينة المنورة مؤسسة صفوة المدينة
شركة غسيل خزانات بالمدينة المنورة

adham said...

الشرق الاوسط من اهم شركات نقل العفش بالدمام متحصصه فى نقل عفش واثاث بالدمام ونقل العفش بالخبر كما انها توفر شركة نقل عفش بالجبيل والخبر وشركة نقل عفش بالقطيف والاحساء وجميع خدمات نقل العفش والاثاث بالمنطقة الشرقية بارخص اسعار نقل عفش بالدمام وتقدم ايضا شركة تخزين عفش بالدمام والخبر
شركة الشرق الاوسط
شركة نقل اثاث بالدمام
شركة نقل اثاث بالخبر
شركة نقل اثاث بالجبيل
شركة نقل عفش بالخبر
شركة نقل عفش بالقطيف
شركة نقل اثاث بالاحساء
شركة نقل عفش الجبيل
شركة نقل عفش بالدمام
شركة نقل اثاث بالجبيل
شركة نقل عفش بالخبر
شركات النقل البري بالدمام
شركات نقل العفش بالدمام
ارقام شركات نقل العفش بالدمام
ارخص شركة نقل اثاث بالدمام
شركة تخزين عفش بالدمام
شركة نقل اثاث بالخبر

adham said...

كما انها متخصصه فى النظافة وتنظيف المنازل ونظافة بالدمام والشقق والبيوت والفلل والكنب بالدمام
شركة غسيل كنب بالدمام
شركة تنظيف كنب بالدمام
شركة غسيل خزانات بالدمام
شركة مكافحة حشرات بالدمام
شركة نظافه عامه بالدمام
شركة تنظيف منازل بالدمام
شركة تسليك مجارى بالدمام
شركة غسيل فلل بالدمام
غسيل عمائر بالدمام
شركة نظافة بالدمام
شركة تنظيف موكيت بالدمام
شركة تنظيف سجاد بالدمام
شركة غسيل مكيفات بالدمام