Friday, April 4, 2008

#5: Acqua Di Gio

Indians are a fragrant bunch. Step inside an Indian's house and the scent of cumin and fish is unmistakable. Ride in a New York City taxi cab in the summer and the smell of Indian body odor commingling with the urine in the streets is strong enough to make your teeth have feelings. One scent above all, however, Indians cannot do without, and that is Acqua Di Gio by Giorgio Armani.

Most Indian males come across Acqua Di Gio as a 17th birthday present from a girlfriend named Priyanka, Loni, Teena or Snekdha Ghandivadhi. Once they catch a whiff of Acqua Di Gio's citrus infused odor, images of couture Italian style cloud the portions of their brain normally dedicated to good taste and the inhibition of unbuttoning your shirt if you sprout unruly body hair. Most formative in the mind of the young Indian male, however, is the implicit association with Acqua Di Gio and Indian girls.

From this point on, through college and well into adult life (i.e. Med school, Law school and Business school) Indian men will automatically reach for the bottle of Acqua Di Gio when killing time at the duty free Sephora at the Amsterdam International Airport. "Who knows what Indian ladies will be on the KLM flight back to Newark," they'll think to themselves.

The most tell-tale testament of Indian brand loyalty to Armani's Aqcua Di Gio is the inability of other eau de toilets to take its place on the tops of bedroom bureaus between jars of American Crew pomade and bottles of Cetaphil lotion. Every Krishnamas, Indian males have been gifted by their aunts, aunties, massis and mahis the young adult starter's kit of different colognes ranging from Adidas to CK One to CK Be to Kenneth Cole. Never a group to miss an opportunity for frugality, Indians will use these kits until the last drop of Drakkar Noir has been dabbed into their wrists. When the bottle's empty, though, and it's time to restock, Acqua Di Gio is item number one on their Macy's shopping lists.

If you ever find yourself in need of purchasing a gift for that persnickety Indian friend, colleague or relative, do not underestimate the broad Indian appreciation for Acqua Di Gio. Every Indian male from Ashok to Zubeen will thank you from the bottom of his heart before spritzing his collar and trying to hit on you by pretending to know the words to Rihanna songs at your best friend's 24th birthday bash. "My family is from Kerala-ala-ala, ey, ey," he'll sing. Hey may be disgusting, but at least he'll smell like Giold.


Aurora Borealis said...

i read the profile of this blog's creator and am glad to learn it's none other than the illustrious RB. Glad to know that expensive liberal arts education at NU came in handy for something other than writing rap parodies. Hope NY is treating you well.

Mahotma in Herre said...

Gomorrah Horealis, unlock your blog so I can read it and find out if we ever dated. Or if we're related. Or both.

Aurora Borealis said...

My blog is too whiny to be shown to the public. Sadly, we haven't ever dated nor are we related, but we might have shared a stir fry once at norris

amelia jae said...

stuff mahotma in herre likes:

#143: unabashed public displays of blog-post flirtation.


Mahotma in Herre said...

Amelia Jae, you're crazy. I like you. Age/sex/location check?

amelia jae said...

i don't ever let that kind of information leak, but i am a virgo/ sure / in a borders book store reading unaccustomed earth behind my horn-rimmed glasses, listening to nitin sawhney's compositions on my ipod.

have i instigated silent weeping fits yet?

Sunkrish said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Miss Anthrope said...

It's cooler to type just the acronym ASL vs. spelling it all out. I also think that Mahotma, Aurora and Amelia should have a threesome, no?

Anyway, being an Indian girl, yes, I am unashamed to admit that I too like Acqua Di Gio!

ZenDenizen said...

During the mid 90s the definitive "scent" of Indian parties was onions and Eternity.

Acqua Di Gio candle said...

I found these cologne scented candles, i really like the Acqua Di Gio candle !

Megan said...

Acqua Di Gio is one of my favorite colognes on men

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