Tuesday, April 8, 2008

#8: Hajmola

As many people know, those from the subcontinent copy just about everything. Indians copy movies, television programs, and even blogs (thanks for pointing it out to us Nick Dan or whatever your name is). Only one product is completely indigenous to India. The fighter of flatulence and director of digestion, Hajmola is a tasty and functional treat.

Hajmola tastes good to almost all Indians. And why wouldn't it? Scientifically, its ingredients include: Kalimirch, Zeera, Saunth, Nimbu saar (Pippali, Samudra Lavan, Sarkara, Krishnalavana, Navsadar - make the up rest). Indian children take one tablet a day, while adults and the elderly are advised to take two.

If you're Indian, you're probably salivating as you think of the kalmrich slowly dissolving on your tongue as a spicy tart explosion takes place just behind it. You will happily enjoy your next Hajmola, while this Hajmola takes care of your Dyspepsia. Even Amitabh loves the "tasty fun-filled digestive."

If you're not Indian, put down the tablet, and save yourself from vomiting. Avro might have just returned from the motherland with a crate of Hajmola ($3.95 for 130 tablets.......YUP, I'm Yo PUSHA... - T), and he will be excited to share this new discovery with you. Do not blame him, for his intentions are noble and flatulence-free. However, even if you're about to take down an Arby's lunch followed by the chocolate peanut butter chocolate at Kopps, Hajmola may not be a good idea for you.

Avro: Dhood, try this tablet. It'll change your life.
Jimmy: What is it?
Avro: Umm, its like a vitamin, but tasty.
Jimmy: I already took my Flintstones; I'm ten million strong and growing.
Avro: What does that even mean?
Jimmy: I don't know.
Avro: You don't even need water, just put it on your tongue and enjoy.
Jimmy: Okay.
Avro: Yeah? amazing, right?
Jimmy: I don't, holy...whats going on?
Avro: Just give it a chance.
Jimmy: That's what you said about the movie Crash. I'm dying here. It tastes like old tires.
Avro: Crash was ground-breaking and revolutionary.
Jimmy: Crash sucked and this is terrible. Its like licking the bottom of your mom's chappals after she steps in curry. Chappals..what a dumb word. I'm spitting this crap out.
Avro: Fine. You have no taste or culture.
Jimmy: My puke will have culture once it gets stuck to your shirt.
Avro: Let's go play Blades of Steel and forget about this.

29 comments:

Avro said...

Oh that's crazy that the guy in your example has the same name as me. His life is probably in better shape though, I have to move in with a midget that has chlamydia at the end of this month.

Subhash said...

That midget probably has a lot of heart.

Chirantan said...

But even more chlamydia.

Subhash said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
silly girl said...

hajmola is the greatest stuff known to man.

Miss Anthrope said...

I'm disappointed that you didn't discuss the aromatic odors Hajmola exudes... :(

John Mahoney said...

Really feeling the blades of steel shout-out

Manmohan Bling said...

I personally preferred Arch Rivals.

avyaya said...

This is awesome. And yeah copying the blogs(read names), you are precise and have hit the right bottom.

Nice blog there.

Anonymous said...

and what about IMLI hajmola?!?!

Jagatjit said...

without hajmola, I would be nothing.

Jagatjit said...

Without hajmola, my dream world would never be perfect

Anonymous said...

I find my ending up on this page highly ridiculous. But that is but the power of hajmola. It takes you places. (except the toilet).

Anonymous said...

My American palate actually took quite a shine to Hajmola, though mostly the candy version. (mango! Mmm!)

Pretty much everyone I've introduced them to has been completely horrified by them though

Chandresh Batook Tanna Rajkot said...

Mane Sundas nathi aavti, hajmola khadu hajaro kilo, kayam churna khadu hajaro kilo, pun sundas ma maja nathi, sundas nathi aavti. Maru sundas kevu thai gayu che koi toh jovo, Sundas bau tasty hoye, mane bau bhaave

Chrissy said...

Hooray!
I am apparently the only white dude to like the real hajmola...not the girly candy!
I know they advise two tablets, but i usually end up with a few more as the taste is outta this world...my girlfriend isn't too thrilled about the scent...but then she ought not to have introduced me to hajmola

markvanslam said...

I love the movie crash and I love hajmola. Im white but having indian rommmates will get you to branch out.

Anonymous said...

Hajmola is best, although it leaves fart like odor around you and your mouth lol!!!

Anonymous said...

HOLY COW i love hajmola. it cures everything from hangovers to unhappiness. it is the TRUTH.

Anonymous said...

imli hajmola is the best!!

The Alternative Indian said...

This blogger is shamelessly pandering to western readers by his condescending approach to all things Indian. What a fool.

Anonymous said...

^ ^ Learn to laugh at your own culture. You'll be happier.

Anonymous said...

I don't like how you say that only Indian people like it. Heritage doesn't matter about what you like and what you don't like.

Unknown said...

Hajmola is very good.It's not just what they say,it is like sucking masala in your mouth...I am a teenager and I carry the stuff in my school...daily...

Guys I dunno why people from abroad find it bad but it's really good...
It's like the cocaine of India(I have never had cocaine thrugh)only except it is legal and so freaking awesome...HAJMOLA LIVE ON!!

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