Tuesday, July 22, 2008

#2Late: Post-Bac

To most college students and recent grads, BAC is a unit of measurement to gage how many Jager bombs you had at Gramercy Club in Lincoln Park last night. To others it's short for, "You better go BAC to school and take your pre-med course requirements so you don't have to get a real job, stupid."

Yes, Indians like to dance along to J-Kwon while everyone in the club gets tips(y), but they also like to study medicine. Problem is, some Indians in college are too busy doing the former to get to do the latter. Solution? The Post-Bac, or Post-Baccalaureate - a second bachelor's degree that allows the prodigal Indian scholar the opportunity to take all those pre-med classes he or she skipped during college in favor of esoteric electives in Gender Studies and Radio/TV/Film. The Post-Bac is your do-over for an undergraduate career misspent, and Indians like taking advantage of all it has to offer.

Many Indians find their way to the Post-Bac via a now familiar route. After graduating from a top 20 university with an emphasis on humanities, Indians inspired to shun convention will move to New York City with their white college friends who are Psych majors aspiring to be unemployed actors and writers. They will find an apartment in a trendy part of town, most likely Brooklyn or Long Island City, and use their parents' money to pay rent while they spend the first 3 months out of school trolling Craigslist for jobs in media, entertainment and film. They will luck into an internship with a low-level production company that they will passionately do for no pay for 3 more months. Unfulfilled and bolstered by entitlement, they will turn down a full-time offer by the production company in search of something more high profile - like a development position with HBO or a writing apprenticeship on The Daily Show.

After 24 months of failing to meet expectations, lowering them and failing to meet them again, the jaded Indian boy or girl will return home to his or her parents' house citing exhaustion. Holed up in their childhood bedroom, they will recall easier times when they boldly told their middle school teachers, "When I grow up I'm going to work for Doctors Without Borders!" They meant it at the time, but somehow college came along and distracted them with its tantalizing course catalogue (Sweet Shiva, Intro to Subversive Sexuality in East German Cinema?!) and its hypocritical, liberal message - "Education is for the growth of your soul, not your bank account...now give us $45,000."

After careful reflection and self-flagellation for 4 years wasted they convince their patient parents they've seen the error of their ways and will go back to school. "For what," the parents will ask skeptically, "Sociology?"

"No," they're assuaged, "Pre-med. I'm getting my post-bac from Columbia, and after that I'll apply to medical school. Can I have $125,000?"

Sure you can. After all, can you really put a price on the realization of the Indian parents' dream for their child to be a doctor? Imagine the look on Ritu auntie's face when she finds out her son , also named Ritu, won't be the only pre-med student at the Jain temple in Sugarland. That's worth 25 rupees crore, at least.

So good luck, wayward Indian student who once was lost but now is found. You tried your hand at the real world and have learned it's not right for you. Go forth to medical school; there's no looking BAC.


Subhash said...

man, that was Milwaukee bleek, but it's all about the feelings ( not zjs)

Can you call or text me with your number? C'mon just do it.

Anonymous said...

this post will, indubitably, alienate one fourth of your readership.

ZenDenizen said...

To be honest, I never noticed this phenomenon but the last 6 posts were just outstanding.

Sunkrish said...

this is eerily familiar. i'm on track to hit the exhaustion phase in a year or so...

Anonymous said...

absolutely amazing.

Anonymous said...

I am a white guy in medical school - what is with indians and medi school. literally half my class is Indian! Someone explain this to me please, I just find it odd. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

I like the goodle ads on the side for Post-Bac.

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