Sunday, September 7, 2008

#223: Calling You Boss

Anyone who's ever ordered a sandwich from subway, tipped a cab driver or bought okra from an Indian grocer knows how much Indians like to call you boss.

- Can I get the foot-long honey oat toasted?
- You got it, boss.

- Right here at the corner's good. Here's $20. Can I get $5 back?
- Thanks, boss.

- This okra's pretty brown. Do you have anything fresher?
Bhindi itna bhoora nehi hai jitna tumhara bandur ka chehra. Boss.

Calling you boss is the Indian equivalent of calling you guy, dude, man or mang. It's the speech of racial solidarity. By calling you boss, Indians are saying, "I got you, brother."

After you leave is another story.

After you leave they call their Indian friends on their blue tooth ear piece and call you an ABCD who will marry a white person and neglect to pass your culture on to your children. They might be right, but who cares? Go rock that chain, pour that champagne, keep getting paid. Do whatchu like, Ricky Ross. You the boss.